Way back when I was just ten Simple and sweet Everywhere, fellas would stare Out on the street And I felt used Kinda confused I would refuse to look in their eyes But now I really love creepy old guys We all do! Gum disease Skin like grilled cheese Saggy old asses (Saggy old asses) Cute and vile Hey baby, smile To each girl that passes They make me blush (Can't get enough) Now one of 'em loves me, wants to be mine (That's right) Marrying my own creepy old guy! (I'm a creepy old guy) My creepy old guy, my creepy old guy I'm so happy I could cry Girls may seem disgusted, but we're actually just shy My creepy old groom (creepy old groom) Play that wedding tune Hey folks, step aside (I am older, but I'm glad I waited) 'Cause here comes the bride I am marrying my creepy old guy (Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy) He's my creepy old guy (Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy!) Fix his hair Get him prepared For Armageddon Sure, the groom Crawled out of a tomb But hey, hey, it's a wedding! So dim the lights Pick up some rice Say something nice It's my day to shine I'm getting hitched to my creepy old guy (It's showtime) Creepy old guy, creepy old guy She's marrying a creepy old guy Have you guys seen "Lolita"? This is just like that, but fine Creepy old dude, creepy old dude Our faith has been renewed Now love is alive! Wave your baby girl goodbye I am walking down the aisle I wanna see a tear in every eye as I pass by I know that on the outside he's disgusting And even on the inside, he's disgusting But I know that this time, I'm makin' it right (Making it right, making it right!) With my family by my side O.M.G. Dressed to a "T" Fancy and formal I found me a wife L'chaim to life This is so normal! I was ignored But now, I'm adored! 'Cause I extorted, tortured, and lied Give it up for my underage bride! Here comes the bride Here comes the bride God be glorified I can't believe some cultures think this kind of thing's alright My creepy old guy My creepy old guy Doesn't he deserve a chance at life? Oh yeah, that's right Yeah, that's right So let's make him alive! I am marrying my creepy old guy! Guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy Guy, guy, creepy old guy Guy, guy (I have chills) Yeah!